By Marian Gorrell
Joanie smiled as she put a pink tutu and tiara on her piebald dachshund, Elsa. She didn’t care if people thought she lost her marbles, she was a free spirit and wouldn’t be intimidated by her cranky neighbors. In fact, she decided that it was time for her to build Elsa her very own ice castle.
“Why are you wasting your time with that boondoggle?” asked an antediluvian acquaintance. “Honestly, it’s nothing but profligate behavior!”
“Oh simmer down, I’ve had enough of your scurrilous banter,” Joanie retorted as she stacked blocks of ice in her front yard. She knew everyone would be full of repentance when they saw the beautiful fruits of her labor.
All of a sudden, Jeanie became discombobulated by a ruckus that was going on behind her. It seems that Elsa became excited by a praying mantis and took off after it. That wouldn’t have been a problem except that Elsa was tethered to the barbeque… and weenies were cooking over an open fire. Before she knew it the entire lawn, including the castle in progress, was victim to a horrific conflagration.
Several hours later, Joanie woke up in a hospital bed. She looked around the room while shaking cobwebs from her head. She noticed she had company… one of her particularly agelast neighbors. “Whoa, that was a crazy fire, huh?” said Joanie to her visitor.
“I hope that teaches you a lesson,” asserted the humorless guest. “I suppose that will bring an end to your buffoonery.”
“Not at all,” replied Joanie. “I still owe Elsa a castle, and I was wondering if you would be willing to help me build one using those bed pans.”
“Stoopid” was all the neighbor could say, as she quickly exited the room.
NORMAL PEOPLE WORDS
Buffoonery, bed pans, cobwebs, company, dachshund, discombobulated, free spirit, hospital bed, ice castle, marbles, praying mantis, repentance, stooped, simmer, willing
agelast– a person who never laughs
antediluvian– ridiculously old-fashioned
boondoggle– work or activity that is wasteful or pointless but gives the appearance of having value.
conflagration– an extensive fire that destroys a great deal of land or property
piebald– having irregular patches of two colors, typically black and white
profligate– recklessly extravagant or wasteful in the use of resources
scurrilous– making or spreading scandalous claims about someone with the intention of damaging their reputation
Andrea Randall, Brenda Scott-Manzur, Bridgett, David Ramquist, Denise Sherman, Donna Wolz, Gene, Harley Christensen, Joanie Sanders, Joyce, Julia Mason, Julian White, Karen Treen, Kristi Van Howling, Laura T Emery, Nenette M., Robin, Robyn K, Sharyn, Suzan