Karen wanted to take her mother to the Waitan Waterfront for vacation, but Polly had seen the beach in Baraza, Zanzibar on MySpace and insisted they go there instead.
“It looks just sublime,” Polly said in her southern twang.
“But mom, what if you catch some incurable disease from the foreign ecology? Is there even a hospital?”
Karen had faced Polly’s alexithymia enough times, that her decision to go wasn’t out of benevolence, but to avoid the inevitable dilemma: compliance or assassination.
And it was just her luck to share the long, tedious airplane ride with a group heading for a Star Trek convention.
“Mom, trade seats with me,” Karen said quickly, but it was too late. Polly had already seen the man with the Trekky inspired outfit sitting next to her.
“Well bless her heart!” Polly shouted in her usual klazomaniac way. “I think she needs some of my Bandoline to fix her bouffant.”
“No mom, that’s a man.”
“Well he looks like a Jaberwock or a fox or something.”
“I am a Klingon from the planet Klinzhai,” the man said.
“Well, aren’t you a comedian?” Polly answered with sardonicism, as she twisted her opal necklace. “I’m just gonna have to say liar, liar pants on fire to that.”
Karen tried to distract her. “Here mom, have a chocolate chip nonpareil, they’re made with Aspartame so they won’t bother your diabetes.”
“Prima floccinaucinihilipilification,” the man muttered.
“Well now, what does that mean?” Polly asked, hands on her hips.
“Its Klingon for ‘what a moron.”” the loquacious Star Trek erudite answered.
“Well, you have some chutzpah!” Polly huffed.
“Hey Mom, what channel do you want on the TV?” Karen asked, wishing her father were still alive. “There is a show about a catastrophic tidal wave, or you can learn how to make an adequate rubric, or look, here’s a show on how to remove oxidized paint . . .”
“But . . . this horrible man!” Polly demanded.
Karen shrugged and downed a double martini muttering, “ignorance is bliss,” for lack of a better aphorism and passed out in her airplane seat.
Alice, Alice Hannon, Amy G, Andrea, Avery, Barbie, Brenda, Bridgett, Carmen Vazquez, Carol Luciano, Charlie, Cheryl Albertelli, Debbie, Denise Pagaduan, Denise Sherman, Dolly, Donna Wolz, Duwane, Fe De guzman, Gail Powell, Gene, James A Emery Jr, Joanie Sanders, Joy Soriano, Karen York, Kathleen, Lori Bohanon, Lynn, Lynne Arias, Mare Gorrell, Megan, Melanie Vincent, Mitsy, Nenette M., paco, Patty, Peggy Honeysuckle, Robin, Samantha Day, Sandy, Sylvia Reddom, Tabitha Harris, Teresa, Ashlyn
NORMAL PEOPLE WORDS
adequate, airplane, Aspartame, assassination, benevolence, catastrophic, channel, chocolate chip, comedian, dilemma, ecology, father, fox, hospital, incurable disease, inspired, moron, MySpace, opal, oxidized, sublime, tedious, tidal, twisted
alexithymia— is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating.
aphorism— a terse saying embodying a general truth, or astute observation.
Bandoline—a glutinous hair dressing, used (esp formerly) to keep the hair in place
Baraza—a beach in Zanzibar
bless her heart— a very diverse phrase; its meaning depends entirely on context. Examples: “Bless her heart, she’s dumb as a doornail, but at least she’s pretty.” Obviously, this is not a nice usage of the phrase.
chutzpah— shameless audacity; impudence.
erudite— having or showing great knowledge or learning.
floccinaucinihilipilification— the action or habit of estimating something as worthless
Jabberwock— a killing of a creature in the Alice in Wonderland books. ”
klazomaniac—a person who compulsively shouts.
Klingon— a member of a warlike humanoid alien species in the television series Star Trek and its derivatives and sequels.
liar liar pants on fire—Urban Diction definition: a phrase that children like to scream at each other whenever they think the other is lying. They also like to scream it at adults who tell them stories about fairies. It is an overall stupid thing to say, since if your pants actually caught on fire when you lied, more politicians would be dead.
loquacious— tending to talk a great deal; talkative.
nonpareil—a flat round candy made of chocolate covered with white sugar sprinkles.
prima— first, leading
rubric— a heading on a document. A direction in a liturgical book as to how a church service should be conducted. A statement of purpose or function.
sardonicism— is “the quality or state of being sardonic; an instance of this; a sardonic remark.” A sardonic action is one that is “disdainfully or skeptically humorous” or “derisively mocking.” Also, when referring to laughter or a smile, it is “bitter, scornful, mocking.”
Waitan—is a waterfront area in central Shanghai.
Zanzibar— is a semi-autonomous part of Tanzania in East Africa