Flash Fiction: February 10, 2017


“Bad news guys!” Jehu escaped the snowstorm into the trailer. “We can’t use the band name Egyptian anymore because Kylie Jenner once went to Egypt and is copyrighting the name.”

“What kind of mendacious crap is that?” Cleopatra said, frazzled. “Its moronic! We’re gonna lose a ton of money if we don’t come up with a kick ass name, and our tour will be delayed.”

“How about Hippie Bombardment?” Tombstone said, adjusting his toupee.

Take a squeegee to your brain, dipshit. We’re a metal band!” Cleopatra huffed.

Snollygoster Gravy?” Tombstone offered.

“You’re going to be the detriment of us.” Cleopatra shook her head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“I googled ‘find your band name.’” Jehu’s face hovered close to the computer. “It says put the color of your shirt together with the last thing you ate.”

“What color is my shirt?” Tombstone asked. “I can’t tell on account of my pigmentosia.”

“Its pink, you idiot,” Clepoatra spat.

“My band name is Pink Pussy then!” Tombstone laughed.

“Gross, I feel like I need a bedbath.” Cleopatra rubbed her arms and cringed.

“You come up with something then, Calama-Tits Jane,Tombstone said.

“Fine. What about Dragon in the Dungeons?”

“Oh, we’ll have a fun copyright issue with that one,” Jehu rolled his eyes. “It behooves us to come up with something more original.”

Cleopatra shrugged. “Sorry, the game had a seminal effect on me.”

King Kong of the Universe?”  Tombstone said.

Jehu cringed. “I think you’re missing the point of original.”

Vicarious Serendipity?”

“I’m a pluvioplile, but I’m not gonna name my metal band Lover of Rain.” Cleopatra said. “We might as well call it Uprooting Blissfulness. At least that’s more menacing.”

“Meancing and original,” Jehu rubbed his chin. “No one has the name hexakosioihexakontahexaphobia.”

They all nodded their heads in agreement.

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