Flash Fiction Fun with Words Provided by Online Friends, July 21, 2017

 

By Marian Gorrell

I showed up for my annual review wearing my sorrow like an exoskeleton.  I slumped in the chair opposite my boss, hawked a giant loogie and requested a Toradol for my migraine.

            “Uh Michelle,” said my concerned boss, “I get the impression that something’s wrong.  How are you doing?”

Craptastic, thanks for asking. I feel like I could cry a monsoon.  Oh, and please pardon the random expectoration in your office. Please don’t blackball me.”

“What happened?” asked my concerned leader.  “If I had to guess by looking at you, I’d say you had a botched flaming flamingo experience with a sumo wrestler.”

            “Worse,” I replied.  “One of the most incredible singers ever, Chester Bennington, has taken his own life.  I feel just terrible.  I know he experienced loneliness in his early life, but it seemed like he worked out all his demons with music. He was a pioneer; his music spanning multiple genres, and his collaboration with Mike Shindoa in Linkin Park was exceptional.”

“Wow, would you feel any better if I read you some quotes by Wigglesworth?” asked my well-intentioned supervisor.  “Or maybe we can discuss the pros and cons of antidisestablishmentarianism…”

“Are you for real?” I retorted, a little too aggressively.  “First of all, are you trying to bump up that damn word’s chart on nGram?  That’s the only reason to use it.  And secondly, no.  I don’t want to discuss that, or Albigenses or angels singing heavenly pentatonic harmonies.   I just want to share my sadness with fellow fans.”

“I’m very sorry,” said Boss.  “Let’s just go ahead and reschedule your evaluation for next week.”

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

  • Chester Bennington

 

NORMAL PEOPLE WORDS

annual review, collaboration, exoskeleton, incredible, loneliness, loogie, monsoon, pardon, pioneer, Sumo wrestler

 

UNUSUAL WORDS

Albigenses— a heretical sect from the middle ages that taught that there were two gods: one good and one evil.

antidisestablishmentarianism—opposition to the withdrawal of state support or recognition from an established church, especially the Anglican Church in 19th century England.

Blackball– reject someone by means of a secret ballot.

Chester—Chester Bennington was the frontman for Linkin Park who recently took his own life.

nGram: google app that plots word usage over the past 200 years.  It is based on the census of words used in the Google Books collection.

pentatonic—relating to or denoting a scale of five notes, especially one without semitones equivalent to an ordinary major scale with the fourth and seventh omitted.

Toradol—a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug.

Wigglesworth—Smith Wigglesworth was a British evangelist and faith healer who was important in the early history of Pentecostalism.

 

URBAN DICTIONARY WORDS

craptastic—extremely crappy

Flaming flamingo—when you light someone’s pubes on fire and then you jiz on them to get the fire out.

 

WORD CONTRIBUTORS

Andrea Randall, Brenda, Charlie, Donna Wolz, Gail Powell, Joanie Sanders, Julia Mason, Julian White, Laura T Emery, Lisa, Lynne Tiktin-Arias, Michelle Schaubert, Monica Woodmansee, Nenette M, Robyn, Samantha Day, Sandra S, Sharyn, Suzan

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