By Marian Gorrell
Tris’ anxiety level was getting ludicrous– to a point that she refused to deal with the incessant irrational animosity of the demons in her mind, and finally decided to visit a psychiatrist.
“Tris, it seems as though you are grievously pusillanimous. You tend to capitulate to your puissant ménage; specifically, your Erudite brother, ”said her shrink with a sardonic air. “I’d say you are suffering from a combination of fried brain and lupus fog.”
Tris immediately dismissed the pissant man’s innocuous balderdash. “Dude,” Tris replied, “maybe it’s about time you retired. I don’t appreciate you introducing your necrotizing nonsense into my psyche. You are at a total loss about my problems, you bombastic oaf! You’re lucky that your chinwag is innocuous enough as to not be felonious,” she added as an addendum.
Suddenly, a Tardis appeared in a cloud of silicon tetrachloride, and Shrek emerged with his preternaturally docile pet walrus.
“Using my data cube to calculate the stupendous variance caused by the resonance of plutonic minerals, I’d say that somebody in this region is in need of a pap smear.”
“Are you kidding me?” cried Tris? ”All I want is a little bliss and you land here firing bazookas full of crap at me!”
Tris decided that her only option was to put on her fitbit and hijack the Tardis. She landed in the middle of the Serengeti, where she found a fairy feeding saffron infused cereal to a werewolf suffering from inanition.
“You cockblocker!” shouted the fairy. “I was just about to nourish him enough that he would be able to pin me down and quench my… uh… heat sensitivity.”
Tris gave up, put on a pair virtual reality goggles and checked out.
Amy Matalon-Graham, Andrea Randall, Avery Auer, Barbara Shanahan, Barbie Urteaga, Bridgett Brown, Carmen Vazquez, Carol Luciano, Carrie, Charlie, Cheryl J Bender Albertelli, Dave Ramquist, Debbie Denney, Denise Sherman, Dolly Nemec, Donna Wolz, Duwane Ledbetter, Gail Powell, Gale Doyle, Germaine Ramondetta, John Delgado, Joseph Rose, Karen Treen, Karen Treen, Karen Wambold York, Linda Cook, Lisa Johnson Hamilton, Lynn, Lynne Arias, Mare Gorrell, Maria Vickers, Mea, Melanie Vincent, Michelle Schaubert, Nenette M., Nicole Morrow, Peggy Honeysuckle, Pina Colon, Robin, Robyn, Rowena Rayos-Wyatt, Samantha Day, Sharon Ansin, Tabitha Harris, Teresa Garcia, Yvonne Villegas
Normal People Words
addendum, animosity, anxiety, balderdash, bazookas, bliss, cereal, cockblocker, chinwag, fairy, felonious, fitbit, fried brain, heat-sensitivity, grievously, introducing, irrational, ludicrous, necrotizing, pap smear, pin, pissant, preternaturally, psychiatrist, resonance, retired, saffron, smear, Serengeti, Shrek, stupendous, total loss, variance, virtual reality goggles, walrus, werewolf.
bombastic- high-sounding but with little meaning; inflated
capitulate- cease to resist an opponent or an unwelcome demand. Surrender.
data cube- multi-dimensional array of values, commonly used to describe a time series of image data.
erudite-having or showing great knowledge or learning
inanition-exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment
incessant-continuing without pause or interruption
innocuous- not harmful or offensive
Lupus fog- the forgetfulness and fuzzy-headed feeling that can come with lupus.
ménage- the members of a household
plutonic- relating to or denoting igneous rock formed by solidification at considerable depth beneath the earth’s surface.
puissant- having great power or influence
pusillanimous- showing a lack of ourage or determination; timid
sardonic- grimly mocking or cynical
Silicon tetrachloride- a colorless, volatile liquid that fumes in the air.
Tardis- a fictional time machine and spacecraft that appears in the British science fiction television program Doctor Who.