Flash Fiction: July 8, 2016

Julia and Franny watched the telly, waiting for the rescission of the Brexit, hoping for assimilation back into the EU, when Julia received a message.

“Holy Spittoon! Check out this text!” 

“That’s one hideous d**k pic! Who sent that dodgy picture?”

“Some rapscallion who calls himself Naughty Nerd. Instead of a profile picture, he has an anime drawing of a tapeworm.”

“No! That’s another d**k pic!”

It kind of looks like a cross between an ice cream cone and an egg beater.”

“Haha! You have penis envy, Franny!”

“Very funny. Look! He sent another one.”

“Hmm. This one looks exponentially larger, like its part of a whale

“Wait! Now he’s texting.”

EYE WANNA C YOUR BRA’S

Fantastic! I’m going to text him back.”

HEY DYNAMO, YOU NEED A COPY EDITOR!

“What did he say?”

“He just sent another d**k pic. Only this one has spectacular fireworks in the background, and I can see his shoes.”

“Turn your phone catawampus. It looks like he’s standing on a screed holding a Pepsi and strudel.

“This guy is supererogatory. I’m gonna mess with him.”

WHAT’S WITH ALL THE EXTRANEOUS, SUPERFLUOS STUFF?  JUST SEND ME MORE D**K!

“Did he respond yet?

“Nope. Not yet.”

“Maybe you should investigate this guy before you encourage him. He could be some creep with Escherichia Coli that thinks you’re his Dulcinea, that’ll traipse right up and kill you.

“Naw. He’d like me to take umbrage in his pics, I’d surmise.  

DON’T PROCRASTINATE, MORE D**K!

“Look! He sent me an infinitesimal one! No wait, there’s a message:

YOU”VE BEEN COCKFISHED.

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